What to Do When Your Adopted Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Child Doesn’t Believe You

Your Adopted Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Child Doesn’t Believe the Truth:


Here we are at the beginning of a new year. My name is Laurie and I write this blog for the families who have foster, adopted children or children with behavioral problems. Please take a moment to read through some of my posts.

My last post was about wishing adoptive parents a Merry Christmas. In the post before my last post I encouraged parents about shopping for these adopted, foster and difficult behavior children. Please have a look at both posts. The shopping one applies to our children’s birthdays too.

Today I am going to talk about when our children don’t believe us when we tell them the truth. It is a hard thing to get through when the truth is the only communication which should be used. Yet it is the last form of communication our children will accept.


Distorted Discernment:

Maybe you are not having any trouble with your adopted children believing you about their past, origin, or anything. But for too many adoptive and foster families this is a very real problem. Many of our children will not believe what we are saying about their biological families or how their adoptions came to be. There are many topics they just choose delusional rationale for why things are the way they are presently.

Our two girls both believed we stole them from Thailand. Our second adopted daughter thought her mother was in Thailand with seventeen of her brothers and sisters pleading for her to come home. (This adopted daughter only has one older sister) We contacted her birthmother twice to see if she would communicate with our adopted daughter only for her to deny our daughter both times.

Many times our adopted daughters had a distorted discernment about the situations they were in and wouldn’t take our advice or see our point of view. The situation would play out just as my husband and I expressed but they still would not believe us the next time. It bordered on the ridiculous!



  1. If it doesn’t put your child in danger – many times it is just easier to drop everything about the situation because they will never believe you anyway. The situation will play its self out and they will be mad at you and the situation especially if it goes the way you said it would. This is a good learning lesson for them. You just need to pick your battles and the smaller ones are just not worth it.
  2. Some situations are not without danger. These are the ones to be involved in. If possible take the opportunities to ask the people in the situations questions in front of your child so they can see and hear the truth through the opinions of others. Then there is no room for your child’s delusions. They won’t like it but it will be undeniable. Of course they will not let you know they were listening.
  3. Bloodlines and Prayer: I just want to bring up a point about rational thinking and bloodlines. Your adopted child comes from another bloodline. If the people in the bloodline are “given” to delusional thinking then this is a topic of prayer. God wants this delusional thinking to stop in anyone’s bloodline and that includes your child’s.


Scripture says Jesus intercedes for us before the Father. Ask him to intercede for your child. Ask for your child to be healed and the cursing of this delusional thinking in their bloodline to be released. Pray for your child’s brain to heal so they can think clearly. Ask for them to believe you and trust you have their best interests in mind.



         In all things having to do with parenting I always depend on the Trinity who know all and want to help. The Trinity are pretty creative in the parenting department and are a reliable resource when it comes to children. Give them a chance to help you too.

If you want my help my name is Laurie and I am a life coach. You can set up a session with me at Laurie@getrealliving.com It could be a phone session. I would love to help you!

Well, that is all for today. I will be here again next week so have a good one. Until then…