Silent Treatment and Reactive Attachment Disorder:

Silent Treatment and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD):



Hello everyone! I am Laurie and I love to help parents who have children with behavioral, foster and adoption issues. My blog is about so many topics concerning these issues. Please take some time to check some out.

My last post was about what is called the Mercy Season. I wrote about some characteristics of and how to participate in this season. Please have a look at my last post to find out more.

Today I want to talk about one of the issues foster and adopted children have which is difficult to live with. That issue is the silent treatment. I have lived through this issue with my adopted children and would love to give some insights.


Silent Treatment:

         The silent treatment issue effects the whole family if it is exhibited by the RAD adopted child. It disrupts communication and the adopted child uses it to control everyone in the house. It can be very emotionally damaging to the siblings and adoptive parents. Sometimes they use it on their friends if the friend is trying to challenge them to communicate.

Specifically, if the adopted child has RAD and is doing the silent treatment – you need to understand but not accept the silent treatment as a control behavior against everyone in your house. A RAD adopted child needs to win in the area of not bonding (as I have shared in other posts). They probably feel the person who is trying to communicate with them is trying to get too close and they can’t give that permission.

If a parent, sibling, or friend is challenging them as a means to their healing they are probably insulted because to them it is everyone else’s fault. They don’t or can’t see life with reality, so they dismiss the importance of what anyone is telling them. They usually feel they can only trust their own opinion because they are the only one who is there for themself.


What To Do?

         I wouldn’t play into their silent treatment. I didn’t allow the “I don’t know” or the “I don’t care” answers. I didn’t permit the silent shrugging of the shoulders. By the time this was happening in our home my husband and I were getting help for our adopted children.

At times I would have to stand right in their path and intentionally make eye contact with them. I would stand there until I would get a respectful verbal response of some kind. I knew I was the adult and I deserved respect in my own home.



         I also went to the Trinity to talk and get healing care. This type of behavior from our misbehaving children hurts. It is important to acknowledge we are hurt and do something to help ourselves. The masters of healing are Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit.

We also need to discover if we have a place in our hearts where someone in our early years has hurt us. If there is a wound we can be potentially susceptible to the same kind of emotional wounding by our RAD children. Our past hurts can trigger the same emotional damage which can happen over and over. It is our responsibility to get our own wounds healed.



         Find help for your adopted or foster children! There are therapists out there who understand adoption RAD, their silent treatment mind games and the damage it can do to a family. Help get your family healed.



         Well, that is all for today. Please leave a comment in the comment section of this post. See you here again next week. Until then…