Adoption Parents – Developing Inner Peace – Part Five:

Developing Inner Peace – Part Five:


This blog is intended to help foster and adoptive families out there navigating through the difficulties of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Most of my posts are about RAD to some degree or another. Please check them out.

My last four posts were the first four letters of an acronym on PEACE. Please take a few moments to read them. They will help in understanding this post better. I am also including the opposing view of each acronym letter in order to provide a better view of God’s heart for you and your family.

Today I am sharing on the last letter E in the acronym PEACE. I hope it will be encouraging as well as enlightening. Then I will bring the five points on PEACE to a conclusion.


E for Empty vs. Engaged:

Dictionary meaning for empty:

  1. Having nothing inside or on the surface; holding or containing nothing.
  2. Having no occupants; not being used.
  3. Lacking force or power.
  4. Lacking purpose or substance.
  5. Needing nourishment; hungry.
  6. Devoid; destitute.

Dictionary meaning for engaged:

  1. Employed, occupied, or busy.
  2. Committed, as to a cause.
  3. Pledged to marry; betrothed: an engaged couple.
  4. Involved in conflict or battle.
  5. Partly embedded into, or attached to another part, as columns on a wall.


I know when I’m on empty – my peace is gone. Emptiness produces number three and number four in the above definition for empty. I’m lacking force, power, purpose and substance. BUT, God has a different point of view.

I like number one, two and five in the above definition for engage. We are to be employed, occupied, busy, committed, embedded and attached to what God wants for us and thinks about us as His children. This type of “state of being” brings the PEACE we are looking for. So, let us in return be engaged (as to a cause) with the Trinity for inner peace to reign. The results is a relationship with the Trinity. When we engaged with the Trinity – receiving relationship, revelation, direction and strategy – we find peace.


Pulling This Five Post Series on PEACE Together:

P = Presence of God to help us – not personal pressure to be what we aren’t able to be

E = Exclusively in Loving relationship with the trinity – not exiting our relationship with them

A = Affections of God received – not affliction from God – it’s Satan who afflicts

C = Covenant of Gods promises – not condemnation from God – Satan is the one who condemns

E = Engaged in building a relationship with the trinity for what we need – not empty with nothing to give


It is my desire to motivate you towards God for inner peace. The above words are more than just words. They have substance when used in the way I have suggested.

True peace is only achieved with a being BIGGER than us – and that is God. He holds our lives and times in His hands. He wants us to experience Him by allowing us to feel his presence.

He is truly an exclusive God and will not allow the first place in our hearts to be occupied by anything other than Him BECAUSE He values you greatly and gives you the same privilege in His heart. We are all equally valued – just as God values His son. We have the same inheritance as Jesus.

God wants our affection and His affection is mutually lavished on us. His intention towards us is always for our good. We easily forget it when Satan shows up to steal, kill and destroy important things in our lives. Don’t be fooled by who is doing what.

Who is the one giving covenant and who is giving condemnation? Many times we think it is God saying and doing all the negative when it doesn’t even begin to be part of His nature. Negativity is Satan’s language and kingdom – not God’s.

Finally, stay engaged in relationship with the Trinity for direction and purpose for your life. Life is too short to not walk out our destiny or live without peace. Part of your destiny is to live in peace while fulfilling what you were put on this planet to do.


Your RAD Child:

Yes, your RAD adopted child can affect your peace – but there is plenty of peace the Trinity can continually supply to you. It’s ok to keep asking for more peace. God is not stingy with what He possesses.



So, live in the peace of the Trinity by accepting their presence, being exclusively theirs, accepting and giving affection, receiving their covenant and engaging in the right Kingdom and relationship with them. This is how to live in PEACE.

         If you would like help in your search for peace – I can help you. I am a life coach and can be reached at Call and make an appointment.

         I would love to hear from you so please leave a comment in the box below. Until next week…

Adoption Parents – Developing Inner Peace – Part Four:

Developing Inner Peace – Part Four:


My husband and I adopted two girls from Thailand and they both were diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). So, I write this blog to encourage the families out there who are navigating through the difficulties of RAD. Most of my posts refer to this disorder and I have written several posts on this subject – please check them out.

My last post was the third post in this five post series on PEACE. I’m using an acronym to share on the important points of peace. I’m also stating the opposing point of reference to make a comparison. Please read the last three posts because they will tie into this post.

Today’s post is part four in this series of five posts. I will be sharing on covenant vs. condemnation. The main emphasis – of course – will be nurturing the development of inner peace.


Covenant vs. Condemnation:

The definition of covenant:

  1. A binding agreement; a compact
  2. In the Bible – a divine promise establishing or modifying God’s relationship to humanity or to a particular group.
  3. An agreement, formal, between two or more persons to do or not do something specified.
  4. A formal agreement of legal validity, esp. one under seal.
  5. To promise by covenant; pledge


The definition for condemnation:

  1. An expression of strong disapproval; pronouncing as wrong or morally culpable.
  2. An appeal to some supernatural power to inflict evil on someone or some group.
  3. The condition of being strongly disapproved of.
  4. (Criminal Law) A final judgement of guilty in a criminal case and the punishment that is imposed.

Since the fall in the Garden of Eden – Satan has been the culprit of condemnation. He made it his job to kill, steel and destroy as many humans and their lives as possible. He speaks condemnation where ever humankind will listen to him. We seem to take in his verbiage and make it our own. Coming into agreement with his lies and condemnation causes our lives to reflect the fruit of our acceptance.

Well, God is not like that. He likes to make covenant with humankind and in this covenant is all His promises as evidence of His good and kind nature. That is why scripture says, “It is His kindness that bring us into repentance.” (ROM.2:4)

In the definition above I like number two under the covenant definitions because it is the modification of God’s relationship with mankind I am talking about today. It was done through covenant. It was done through Jesus.

God knew man would continue sinning so He sent His son to die as the last and final irrevocable payment for sin. God chose the cross and Jesus was sacrificed as a final blood sacrifice. This restored us through an unbreakable eternal promise called covenant. God set and fulfilled the terms of covenant through Jesus’ sacrifice so man could be reconciled back to God permanently.

Through the ages mankind has made binding agreements (covenants) between two or more parties with exchanges. They exchanged vows, blood, names, clothing, weapons, wealth and covenant meals. God did the same when His son agreed to be the final blood sacrifice exchange for all mankind. He paid for everyone’s sin. He paid for all eternity. It’s over and we are the recipients of His loving covenant.


Peace results:

         The results of condemnation is the fruit of a wrong kingdom – Satan’s. Satan delights in inflicting self-discouragement, to self-doubt and expecting less out of life. His kingdom is full of negatives, damage and death.

God and Jesus on the other hand have done all the work because of the cross and I can’t think of another thing which brings inner PEACE than knowing we are in the hands of such a wonderful being. The final reward is knowing the PEACE and love which comes from God’s kingdom.

God please help my readers find the inner peace their hearts are searching for. Help them understand the modification of relationship you have provided – covenant. You’ve provided this modification so your inner PEACE would be available to them as a gift – wrapped in all the love you have. Bless their homes and children. Amen.

If you would like some help in the area of PEACE – I am a life coach and can be reached at Let them know you would like to have a session with me and they will set up an appointment for you.



Please join me again next week for the fifth and final post in this series on PEACE. Leave a comment in the box below. I would love to hear from you! See you next week…        

Adoption Parents – Developing Inner Peace – Part Two:

Developing Inner Peace – Part Two:


         Hello all. I’m Laurie and I started this blog to encourage all the foster and adoptive families out there navigating through RAD issues. Please check out the previous posts I’ve written on the subject of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It is my heart to help parents see and understand RAD better.

My last post was part one of a five part series on peace. Please take a moment to read it because it will help you understand this post better. Besides, you can get too much peace in their life?

Today is about the second letter in my acronym PEACE which is E for Exclusive and the opposite of exit. This is my effort to portray peace in a way that most of mankind hasn’t understood and maybe hasn’t tried or experienced. I hope you find inner peace in your heart as a result.


E for Exclusive vs. Exit:

The definition for exclusive according to the dictionary app. on my phone means:

  1. Excluding or tending to exclude: exclusive barriers.
  2. Not allowing something else; incompatible: mutually exclusive conditions.
  3. Not divided or shared with others
  4. Not accompanied by others; single or sole: your exclusive function.
  5. Complete; undivided: gained their exclusive attention.

When life gets as tuff as it does living with a human who has RAD – you may get frustrated with the inability to get through to them. I understand the disappointment of trying over an over to no avail. This may have driven you to a place of no options leading you to wanting to exit the situation. I know I was at this place of loneliness and desperation. My desire was to see something that would work for my daughters only to realize there was no answer in sight.

Scripture says, “God is a jealous God” and one of the commandments says, “You shall have no other God before Me.” (Ex. 20:3) God was and is a very exclusive God. Mankind has believed many good and evil things about God in the scriptures (above) and everyone is entitled to their own opinion – including me.

So, this is my version of the two quotes from the Bible stated above. God’s idea of creating mankind was for the sake of creating a world of sons and daughters that He can be Abba Father to. (Rom. 8:15) He gives us the right to accept Him or not because He is fair and a gentleman. But, if we do accept Him – it is an exclusive relationship. We are not to have any other God before Him because He is jealous for our love and affection just as He wants to exclusively give us love and affection. Even during our devotional times – He doesn’t want to share us with any other person or event which would interrupt the flow of His love, encouragement and presence. (Presence was the P for PEACE in my last post)

In this place of exclusiveness we are affirmed of who we are and who’s we are. It is part of His plan to be only ours and we are only His. This is in reference to the first place in our hearts being held exclusively for Him. No one can have this place of Father to son/daughter and son/ daughter to Father.

His love is powerful and life changing. Again, this is His intention so we are in a place of safety and peace can flow from Him to us. What a redemptive state of being. What a place of security in love. All with the results of peace.

This all may be sounding strange to you but I can tell you it is not. You can live in inner peace. You can exclusively reserve the first place in your heart for Father God. He will exclusively be your God before all other Gods. He jealously wants to be your Father and bring you peace. This is a much better conclusion than merely exiting the situation out of frustration.

Do you want this in your life? Do you want inner peace? Can you reserve the first place in your heart for the God of the universe? Can you allow Him to be jealous for you and your affections? If you do – I can help you. I am a life coach and have helped many people in the process of making God first and accepting His exclusive love. I can be reached at Call and make an appointment with me and I would be glad to help you.



         Thanks for listening and please leave a question or comment in the box below. I would love to hear from you. Until next week…