RAD and Three Human Lies – Part Two

 Human Lie number Two:      


Hello there. I am Laurie and the point of my blog is to help foster and adoptive families out there that have RAD adopted children. RAD is a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is difficult to navigate through. I have written many posts on this disorder. Please check them out.

This series is about three human lies and I am focusing on the RAD adopted child and their belief about these lies. My last post was the first post of this series of three posts. Please take a minuet to read it. It is about the first lie of having to do everything right.

Today I’m continuing with the second lie as it relates to an adopted RAD child. Adoptees have a tendency to believe all three of these lies. Most everyone else believes one or more of them too. I will list the three lies again below to refresh your memory.


The Three Human Lies:

  1. I have to do everything right
  2. God has to make everything go right for me
  3. Everyone has to treat me right


Lie Number Two – God Has to Make Everything Go Right For Me:

  1. There are several directions I could go with this lie: Scripture says that God owns everything including us – we are stewards only. God is in charge and we are to participate in His vision and heart’s desire. God doesn’t have to make everything go right for me. He is the one leading – not the other way around. How do we even begin to believe we can expect God to submit to our whims and expectation? Wouldn’t that put God at our disposal instead of us at His?
  2. God uses difficulties to build our character: I have never seen God make everything go right, all the time, for anybody. He is the ultimate power of the universe – so needing Him to make everything go right for us is nowhere on His to do list. He makes the maturity process (including difficulties) go right so we become adults with wisdom in our hearts.

My pastor says there is a no in God’s yes. He says yes to who we are and our destiny but our destiny needs character building and it is the difficult things in life that build character maturity. Once we become mature – God’s yes produces the manifestation and realization of our destiny.

3. If everything went right there would be no need for God in our lives. I feel sorry for God because most of mankind won’t turn to Him unless it is the last resort. Plus, when things go wrong – God is the first person who we all accuse for holding out, not being fair, and being unkind, etc. What an entitled way to treat the creator of everything.


RAD Troubles With Lie Number Two:

          We live in a narcissistic society and lie number two is a symptom of such a society. On top of that – a RAD adopted child usually is narcissistic because they live in self-pity and want everyone – including God – to feel sorry for them. They charm and manipulate (narcissistic symptoms) in order to get their needs met. Although this a little understandable – self-pity and narcissism are never helpful to anyone.

Like I said above, the difficult things in life are usually the very things that God – through our maturing process – uses to develop our character and destiny. This is exactly what happens with most RAD adopted children. If only they would relent and learn what they need to learn from the difficulties – their destinies would be realized quicker. God is the one who commissions them to the next place – including into their destiny.

When a person is in their destiny – it is a place of satisfaction and delight. Destiny goes along with what a person was created by God to do on this earth. So, wanting God to fulfill lie number two and “make everything go right for me” is the total opposite direction to finding satisfaction, delight and fulfillment in living. We all need to go through this process of maturing to enter destiny.



          So, if you or your RAD adopted child believing this lie – I can help you. I can be reached at Laurie@getrealliving.com Call and make an appointment with me. I would love to help.

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