Framing Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Correctly:


         Hi there! This is Laurie and I am the creator of this blog. I wright on many subjects having to do with behavioral, foster and adoption issues. Please check out some of my other posts. They are intended to be encouraging and hopefully healing.

My last three posts were about a ministry I have started called Abba Father’s Love. I told about the three parts of this ministry which are support groups, Life Coaching and this blog. Please take a moment to read about this ministry.

Today I am going to talk about foster, adoptive and behavioral problem children who don’t “frame” their thoughts or situations correctly. Thoughts or situations can be correctly or not correctly frame. What I mean by framing correctly or incorrectly: There is truth, partial truth or no truth in what is thought or seen. When situations or thoughts aren’t framed correctly – there’s a lie in the thought and it doesn’t produce a positive end (mis-framed thinking). Thoughts that are framed correct and are true produce behavior that follow that truth to a positive end (correctly framed thinking).


Our Families Train us How to Frame Our Lives:

         I find it fascinating to watch families with diversity of thoughts directly linked to mis-framed thinking (has lies). I think every family has a mis-framed thought or two. This mis-framed thinking can be transferred from generation to generation. It can go from one person to the next till there is a whole group of people who can’t see the truth when it is right in front of them.

This post is mainly about adoptive, RAD and foster children and the mis-famed thinking they have. Because they have lived through a great deal of rejection from their biological families – their thinking is all messed up. This causes them to mis-frame how everyone on the earth thinks of them or how they think of everyone else.


Divine Thinking:

         Father God is the master mind of the universe. He thinks correctly and has all the wisdom necessary to make accurate decisions. So, it is safe to say He can frame or think correctly about everything we encounter during our life time. It is His truth that heals the lie(s) and can switch us into correct thinking.

We may be at a place where we are in situations in our lives which are not framed correctly because of the way our families taught us to see, think and feel. The thing is – we see, think and feel this way because it is the only way we have been taught to experience life. Or, something tragic has happened and we agree with a lie that shifts our thinking so we don’t frame correctly. I bet if we could trace all situations back to where the thinking got off track we would find the lie that caused the shift. So, what do we do?


Breaking Agreement with the Lies:

         Incorrect framing is based on believing a lie which was taught to us by our families (generational thinking) or from a tragic situation. If your child has had repeated situations where they have not seen the situation correctly – then there is mis-framing. Breaking agreement with the lie that has caused the mis-framing and receiving the truth is the way to shift into correctly framing situations.


How Does This Apply to Adopted Children?

         Our adopted children have MANY situations mis-framed. This causes them to see situations incorrectly on so many levels. Below are some examples of their mis-framed thoughts:

  • They don’t see situations with friends correctly
  • Many adopted children don’t feel loved even when they are surrounded by love and love ones
  • They read situations as personal attacks or rejections
  • They see their birth parents as wonderful when many times they have given them up for immoral or selfish reasons
  • They don’t see the adoptive mother in the correct light on so many levels
  • They think they are invincible
  • They think they can make up their own morals and rules and expect the rest of society to follow them
  • They are narcissists and expect life to revolve around them
  • They live in self-pity and expect to be treated with kid gloves
  • They live in delusions of grandeur and when others don’t agree with their delusions of grandeur – they are offended



         Framing life correctly sometimes requires some help. We all need help now and then. So, if you want my help you can reach me at I would love to help you.

Please leave a comment in the box below. I will be here again next week. Until then…