Adoptive Father Faithfulness When Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Children are at Work

Adoptive Father Faithfulness When Reactive Attachment Disorder Children are at Work:

        

Intro:

Hello everyone! I am here with another post to encourage adoptive and foster families. Please take a little time to read some of my posts. They are intended to help the families of behavioral, foster and adopted children who have issues.

My last post was for the parents of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) children when it comes to summer and needing a break. Summers can be very challenging especially for the adoptive mother. Please check my last post out.

Today I am going to specifically talk to adoptive fathers. I want to talk about RAD symptoms and how they affect everyone in the family. My heart is to bring some light to a couple of the RAD symptoms and how they relate directly to adoptive fathers.

 

I Hear This Over and Over:

         I’m not going to mince any words in this post. Adoptive mothers share (in my support groups) how the adoptive fathers are wrapped around their adopted RAD child’s finger to the point the adoptive mother is taken out of the place and role she is to have in the home. Adopted Fathers wake up!!

Two of the symptoms of RAD are:

  1. The adopted RAD child has charming behavior in public and with the adoptive father and is the total opposite at home with the adoptive mother
  2. The adopted RAD child triangulates

Take some time and look into the symptoms of RAD on line. You will find quite a list of them. This will bring understanding to all of the behaviors you are witnessing in your adopted RAD child.

 

Charming Behavior:

Fathers please watch your RAD adopted children in public. They will put on such an act of sweetness. I know because my husband and I would have parents from other tables at a restaurant come over and tell us how well behaved and sweet our two adopted RAD children were. I would almost fall off my chair.

If you watch – your children will target you (fathers) and do the same to you. They want to get you to believe your wife is against them and they need your help because they are so helpless. They know if they get you on their side against your wife it won’t be long till there is a divorce and their “competition” is gone. Then they will be King or Queen of the house. Then you want to watch your back.

 

Triangulating:

Triangulation is when your adopted RAD child will try and divide you and your wife on issues. They want the two of you to have opposing views. OR they want to get your wife out of the house so they can move into the role your wife is supposed to have. Sometimes they want your wife to die or want to kill her. Other times they want you to think your wife is crazy.

 

Adoptive Fathers:

In the support groups I lead I regularly hear about how easily the fathers are manipulated and controlled by the adopted child. The mothers are so frustrated and say they are being cheated not only out of the God given role of mother but out of the protection and relationship they used to have with their husbands!

Father’s, as you research the effects of RAD symptoms also research the rate of divorce in a family whose children are adopted and have RAD. The statistics are astounding and I don’t want your family to be a statistic. That would be ridiculous especially if it could have been avoided.

 

Conclusion:

Fathers please get involved for the good of the whole family. Come back to the place of true faithfulness pertaining to being your wife’s friend, lover and confidant. Then get the help your children need.

This is all for today. I hope this post triggers some good conversations between adoptive parents. See you here again next week. Until then…