Our Story

Purpose of This Blog:

Hi, I am Laurie and I want to start this blog with our story. My name is Laurie and my husband and I have adopted two girls from Thailand and it didn’t go very well. It has been the most painful, lonely, and devastating thing we have ever experienced. As of today, my adopted girls are diagnosed with RAD, bipolar, PTSD, FAS, ADD, and ADHD. They possessed these disorders before we brought them into our home. Neither one of the girls live with us now because the oldest is old enough to be on her own and the youngest is just old enough to go on to Job Core.

I know how it feels when so many behaviors are going on in your home and the “normal parenting” process doesn’t work. I know how confusing it is when you are giving 110% of your love and it doesn’t seem to even scratch the surface. When you reach out and try to connect with love to encourage your beautiful child, and they seem to sabotage every ounce of effort or event meant to help them.

Then on top of it all, society wants you to parent just like they do and judges you when your child doesn’t meet the criteria of behavior they expect. Then you feel dazed because the parenting that is supposed to work is doing the exact opposite. When you do get up the courage to be vulnerable to anyone about what is going on, the main stream parenting group doesn’t get what you’re saying at all. This only drives you to a lonelier and lonelier place. I get it and I have been there.

I have found many proverbial gold nuggets along the way. Mostly having to do with my relationship with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. They are the only reason I can pass on to you any hope of healing your broken heart to coming out on the other side in one piece.

In this blog I will address our story, insights about the bigger picture, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and topics of healing for your soul, among other things. I am now a life coach and all though I haven’t “arrived”, I have survived a boat load of chaos (in my home) and a very broken heart.

The Call

When I was seven or eight years old I remember having a deep desire to adopt. Where that desire came from God because none of my family or friends had adopted. All I  knew was there were children out there without someone to love and take care of them and I wanted to be one of the ones that provided this loving care.

Fast Forward

I am now on the verge of going down the church aisle to be married to a wonderful man. We met at a church camp and courted long distance for one and a half years. We covered all the questions and dreams we each had and finally decided to tie the knot after God confirmed we were supposed to be in covenant marriage together. My husband agreed that we would adopt after having a couple of children of our own.

Bouncing Baby

My husband and I waited four and a half years before our first little one came along. I had a hard time getting pregnant, carrying, and delivering her. She was healthy and whole and we were delighted to be parents. Because of the difficulties I had, we decided we would only have one biological child and adopt the rest.

Our Search

All adoptable babies in the United States were reserved for childless parents which we totally understood. To our dismay, social services wouldn’t even consider us unless we would take an older child. I instinctively knew we shouldn’t do that because of the behavioral problems of adopted children and we wanted our oldest biological daughter to be older than the adopted children in case they would act out. We searched and looked to no avail. Finally, we just laid our dream down.

But Then

Later, we decided to look into foreign adoptions. I was drawn to the Asian looking children because my husband and I thought they would be the most readily accepted in our community, and in our opinion, a beautiful people. I looked into Korea, Philippines, and Thailand. In my research I discovered that Korea and Philippines had higher rates of serious special needs in their kids so Thailand it was. Besides, the history of Thailand was so amazing and I just happened to be one of the kings kids in the musical, King and I, my older sister’s choir  put on when I was younger.

After the Paperwork Frenzy

We put our applications in to an adoption agency and after a mountain of paperwork, home inspections, and adoption classes, we received a package in the mail. It enclosed a picture of a little three and a half year old Thai girl and a letter asking if we would be her parents. They gave us as much of her history and background as possible.

In the adoption classes, the instructors taught as long as the child is in a foster home, there would be no reason they would have RAD. (Reactive Attachment Disorder) This little one was in a foster home and we were elated and said we would be her parents. Ten months later she was in our home.

Reality Bites

At the time our oldest biological daughter was around eight years old. She was very gentle and sensitive to the feelings of others. I taught her a lot of social graces and so forth. Well, my daughter from Thailand was three and a half but very used to having the freedom of running with a pack of other little children in her village without much supervision. The toughest one ruled the pack. So, this little one knew how to bully to get what she wanted.

Our adjustment period was very rough and every time I left my two daughters in one room to go into another room, my  oldest daughter got kicked, pinched, bit, slapped, shoved, or a clump of hair pulled out. This was a tough of time of trying to love and bring a new one in while protecting the oldest one from abuse.

Life Moves On

After the two girls settled into their positions in the family, life moved on. There was an undercurrent of concern in my heart because although my second daughter was adjusting to American life, she still didn’t seem to fully bond to anyone in the family. I decided I would just try harder, love longer, and be stronger for her and that would win in the end. Of course love conquers all, don’t you know.

3 Makes Our Quiver Full

More to come…