Learning Pause and This Blog:

Relearning Pause:

Hello there! I am Laurie and I want to share about a temporary direction shift to this blog. I am in the process of learning many new insights about Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) that seem to be working. These insights have caused me to go in a new direction in my approach to RAD as a Life Coach.

Most of the shift has to do with helping the adopted RAD child attach in meaningful ways. It is a very different parenting approach. It looks quite contrary to all we know about parenting. Healing the brain is at the root of the process.

So far, this blog is my story and my connection to help other adoptive parents in their search for answers to RAD. It will continue to be so. But for now, this blog will be taking a break. I will come back and communicate what I am learning through this different parenting approach. I will have more helpful information of how to bond to these troubled RAD children.

I don’t know how long of a break I am going to take. But, I do know sending these RAD children to their rooms as a punishment adds to their rejection and abandonment issues. Plus, taking their stuff away causes them to be on a war path to win over you at all cost. Usually the cost of the relationship between you and them. More on these issues when I come back from this break.

Blessings to you and your families in the interim pause for this blog. I will be back to share all I have learned. Until then…

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Helping Biological Children Heal From the Effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD):

Helping Our Biological Children Heal :

Intro:

I hope your Christmas Season went well! I am writing this particular post in honor of the biological children who have lived with symptoms of RAD in their adopted siblings over the years. This blog is to the foster and adoptive parents who need encouragement to navigate through adoption issues and today is about the biological children we have in our care.

My last post was about adopted children purposively sabotaging holidays and birthdays. I went into some suggestions you can use when it happens. Please check it out.

Today I am going to talk about our biological children and their ability to heal. Specifically from their adopted sibling’s RAD symptoms emotionally hurting them. This needs a process of healing.

In our Situation:

Things were bad at the beginning of our adjustment phase of adoption. We have a biological daughter and she was physically abused by our oldest adopted daughter. This adjustment period was awful because every time I left the room our adopted daughter would be abusive to our biological daughter by kicking, knocking down, punching, biting, pulling out hair, etc.

As the years went by we began to realize our adopted RAD daughters were being manipulative and mean to our biological daughter much like they were to me. Their plan was to get her out of the house or kill her like they planned for me.

In hind sight we discovered our biological daughter received more emotional, verbal and physical abuse from our adopted daughters than we knew about. It had taken its toll. Now our biological daughter doesn’t want much to do with our adopted daughters. Our adopted daughters are still very much in their narcissistic RAD behaviors, blame everything on everyone else and never wanted anything to do with our biological daughter.

Been There – Done That:

        I am not writing this post from a place where I did everything right. Obviously I didn’t if our biological daughter was so abused. But I can make some suggestions to help you along the way:

1)  Strongly encourage your biological children to tell when they are being abused.

2)  Allow your biological children to defend themselves.

3)  If possible allow your biological children’s bedrooms to be as far away from the adopted RAD children’s bedrooms as possible.

4)  Encourage your biological children to have friends and let them do things with these friends without your adopted children tagging along.

5)  Find someone your biological child can talk to if they are being abused.

6)  Don’t allow your RAD adopted children to use your biological child’s things. They will destroy them on purpose.

7)  Set apart time to listen to your biological child to talk them through their hurt or pain.

8)  Believe them if they tell you of things your RAD adopted children are doing.

Healing, Time and Forgiveness:

        It has been several years since our two adopted RAD children have been in our home. Our biological child has taken these several years to heal and forgive. She is doing much better and I am so glad!

She is now helping some of her friends navigate through their adoption issues with their children. She has always been able to see what is really going on. The advice she gives to these families is sound and mature. I am so proud of her!!

Conclusion:

        I would love to hear from you on the subject of this post or about any of my other posts. Please leave a comment in the comment section of this post. I will respond the best way I can. Blessings to you and your adoptive family.