Adoptive Parents – Stand Still and Let God Fight for You:

Fight for You?



        I’m thoroughly blessed to have this venue (of blogging) to reach out to parents who have children with disorders and behavioral issues. Whether it be adoptive, foster or biological parents, I want to connect and communicate together.

My last post was about adoptive mothers finding their control. I gave three areas of control adoptive mother’s have a right to expect. Please check it out.

Today I am talking about letting God fight for you when you feel you have tried every avenue to connect with your children. Connecting is a hard thing to do with a RAD adopted child. Believe me I have lived this and continue to let God fight for me.

What does letting God fight for you mean?

        If you have a child who has behavioral issues such as RAD, ODD, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc. – I’m sure you know what I mean even before I explain myself. These disorders and syndromes are very difficult to navigate through. Many parents have expressed to me they don’t know what to do next. I have felt the same in the past.

Specifically, I want to address the innate desire of parents to try and fix their children. This is usually based on the fear that their children won’t live their life successfully. Their social skills have so much to be desired, they are immature and narcissistic, and they live in delusional thought processes.

It is obvious to us as their parents that the way they do life won’t work for them. But, our children are clueless on this subject. They think life will work for them just as it worked for them at home.

We the parents need to stop trying to fix them or their lives. We can’t even fix ourselves so why do we feel we can fix them. Only God has the ability to fix what is wrong in anyone.

Our children need to experience age appropriate life situations and fail at what they are doing. While they are still living in your home they need to fail and fall in a safe place. This HAS to happen over and over so life can teach them in preparation for the real world.

This is how God will fight for you. Acknowledge you don’t have the power to fix anything in yourself or them – then turn them over to a loving God. He will set things up to teach our beloved children so they can absorb what they need to learn.

God won’t control them because He doesn’t trespass a person’s will. But in collusion with us as the parents – He will hear our prayer requests and work in our children’s lives. He will fight for us on behalf of our children. He will provide life lessons we don’t have the ability to set up. We need to stand still and trust God will work on behalf of our adopted RAD children.

Of course I am talking about older children but this can work for our younger children too. Turning our children over to the hand of the Lord at school, sports, or anything they are in gives God many opportunities. Please let God fight for you in this way starting today.


        If we learn to let God fight for us – it also relives the stress we carry to parent effectively or (for some) perfectly. Stress can cause many physical sicknesses. We need to stay healthy if we are to parent these difficult children into their adulthood.

Well, that’s all for today. Please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you. Until next time…

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Another Day with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): | Abba Father's Love

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