Adoptive Mothers Find Your Own Control:

Find Your Own Control:



        Hi there. I’m Laurie the creator of this blog. This is the paragraph where I talk about helping foster and adoptive parents and parents of children with behavioral problems. Please have a look at my posts.

My last post was about empathy and sympathy and which is the one to use. One causes a fight and the other one doesn’t. Check it out.

Today I am going to talk about the control an adoptive mother is to have. This is a healthy control and is not to be confused with being controlling. Instead, it commands respect.

An adoptive or foster mother’s control:

        There are three areas where you as a mother and wife (adoptive mother or not) you’re supposed to have control:

  1. You are the only one who has control over yourself.
  2. You and your husband have control over what is going to happen in your home.
  3. You have control over how you are going to be treated in your home. Whether the treatment is from your husband or children.

You are the only one who has control over yourself:

        If God isn’t controlling you then no one else should either. God gives us a free will and we all need to respect one another’s free will. If anyone is controlling or abusing you (any kind of abuse) – it is not ok.

If any abuse is happening to you then I encourage you to get some kind of help. There is too much domestic violence now a days. Women need to be able to protect themselves especially if the husband is refusing to protect you or is a narcissistic abuser.

Because many adopted children have some level of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) they have an uncanny ability to manipulate the adoptive father away from the adoptive mother. Adoptive father’s wake up and quit blaming your wife for your adopted RAD children’s symptoms and behaviors. They came with them. Protect your wife and recognize that your adopted children need help because they are very sick. Then apologize to your wife and show her the respect she deserves.

You and your husband have control over what is going to happen in your home:

        Your adopted children do not pay the house bill. They may have a room in your house but they do not own their room. They are just using it till they move out.

The parents are the ones in a household who decide what happens in your home. You set the house rules and your children are to respect them and do what you and your husband decide. They need to learn this because when they get a job their boss will not care what they want because their business come first. If our children don’t cooperate then it is bye-bye.

You are in control over how you are treated by your husband and children:

        I already said what I wanted to say about the husbands in the above paragraph. So, I will talk about the adopted children. Many adoptive mothers need reprieve from the destructive behaviors of their RAD adopted children.

Too many times adopted RAD children take their aggressions out on the adoptive mother. The adoptive mother can and should stand up for herself and not accept this behavior. But, it usually takes the adoptive father stepping in (drawing some lines in the sand) to shifting their behavior in the right direction.

Many adopted children who have RAD want to get the adoptive mother out of the house through divorce, separation and in some cases murdering the adoptive mother. Adoptive fathers wake up and see the manipulation and defend your wife. She deserves this kind of honor and respect. Wives – this is not too much to expect.


        Please comment on this post. I would love to converse with you. I’ll be here next time. Until then…

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoptive Parents – Stand Still and Let God Fight for You: | Abba Father's Love

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