Knowing Who You Are When Your Adopted Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Children Lie to Manipulate Others Against You:

Knowing Who You Are:



Hi all. I’m Laurie and I write this blog for the sake of helping parents who have children with behavioral, foster and adoptive issues. There is a disorder connected to some adopted children called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and I have written many posts on this subject. Please check some out.

My last post was about learning to stay at peace when there are adopted RAD children in your house. I discussed many things. Please have a look at my last post.

Today I am going to discuss a very difficult topic that effects many foster and adoptive families because of the effects of RAD. It is difficult because these RAD adopted children are so free to charm others and lie about their adoptive families.


RAD Symptoms:

I have written a few posts listing the RAD symptoms. I will put a link right here for you to check one out. Two of the RAD symptoms are being charming and engaging with others, and lying. These two symptoms can cause the adoptive family much harm if the adoptive parents don’t know who they are and what RAD is about.

Charming and engaging:

These adopted RAD children have mastered the ability of getting their needs met. Many times they do this by emotionally manipulating or “pulling the heart strings” of those around them. This is where the charming and engaging behaviors are found. They want people to feel sorry for them so therefore deceive others into seeing their adoptive parents as ogres who are controlling them.

If you are reading this post and you are an adoptive parent – I encourage you to purposefully understand who you are because these children will do whatever it takes to try and ruin your reputation and take your identity. If your adopted child has the diagnosis of RAD then you may need to consider letting the administration of their school know. Educate them on the symptoms of RAD.


RAD children have no qualms with lying to get what they want. Some of them are pathological liars for the sake of delighting themselves. I have seen them say their adoptive parents are molesting or abusing them or aren’t feeding them or providing for them to get a chuckle at the drama they cause.

Now there are some cases where the adoptive parents are doing these things but there are some cases where RAD is the culprit and the adoptive parents are brought up on charges. Again, educate your RAD child’s teachers and school authorities about RAD.


My Point:

        It is also important to educate yourself about RAD before you adopt if that is where you are at in the adoption process. If you are farther along then please know who you are because RAD children can make you look very bad in your circle of influence and friends. Their charming and lying behaviors can change other’s opinion of you bringing much heart ache and pain to you and your family. You have get to know who you are and how you are going to act in order to move forward if RAD troubles happen to you. It will save you so much grief!



Getting to know who you are includes allowing the Trinity’s opinion to dominate your understanding of your character. God’s opinion of you is the loving truth. Only you (if you have a good opinion of yourself) and God get to decide you’re identity and character. God will always lovingly call the good out of you. So should you. Your RAD child or society don’t get to vote on the subject.

I will be here again next week. Blessings to you and yours! Until then…

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: RAD is a Simple Twist of Fate? | Abba Father's Love
  2. Trackback: Adoptive Mothers Find Your Own Control: | Abba Father's Love
  3. Trackback: Another Day with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): | Abba Father's Love

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