See Past Your Child’s Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) to Their DNA Gifting – Part Three:

See Past Your Child’s RAD to Their DNA Gifting:



Greetings! I’m Laurie and I write this post for foster and adoptive families. Many of these families are broken due to a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Please take a look at some of my posts to understand why.

My last post was the second post of this three part series of posts. I have been talking about the gifts listed in Rom. 12:6-8. I refer to them as spiritual DNA gifts and they are basically personalities. Check out my last two posts because they will help you understand this post more fully.

Today I am finishing up this series of posts and will talk about the last three DNA gifts. Then I will bring everything to a conclusion. This will hopefully give you a better picture of your adopted child’s personality even though they are acting out RAD symptoms.


Giver Strengths, Weaknesses and Blindspots:

  1. Values freedom and independence but doesn’t enjoy extended times of being alone
  2. Likes to stay adaptable, flexible and spontaneous. Will not commit until they have to because things may change
  3. Seeks community to create a new thing
  4. Resourceful
  5. Love the old and new
  6. Relentless and doesn’t easily take no for an answer
  7. Wants to leave a legacy
  8. Driven by preparing the way for their family and others after them
  9. Mixture of intuitive and analytical
  10. Security and safety are important
  11. Presentation is important and likes everything in its place
  12. Has favor in the marketplace – bargains, good deals or discounts
  13. Gives wisely, not impulsively
  14. Is a peacemaker
  15. Can work with people with conflicting views


  1. May see money as security causing then to be territorial with their resources. May have conflict if their family feel resources are withheld from them while spending money on other people or things
  2. Loses track of time easily
  3. They communicate with more intentionality than they realize
  4. Can be perceived as pushy, manipulative and dishonoring


Ruler strengths, Weakness and Blindspots:

  1. Great team leader. Inspires a group to own a problem based on loyalty
  2. Delegates to others on the team. Loves thinking through logistics
  3. Can mobilize a large group to accomplish a task. They know when to push, inspire, command and lead in situations.
  4. Natural implementer.
  5. Thrives under pressure and puts others around them under the same pressure.
  6. Is skilled in time management
  7. Interested in how – not why and is not a visionary
  8. Can do a great amount of work with resources given them
  9. Adaptable to changing circumstances and has a backup plan
  10. Values loyalty and relationship more than competence per se. Can use imperfect people and draws the best out of them without allowing their brokenness to damage the objective
  11. See no value in blaming themselves or others
  12. Does not need affirmation from others
  13. Their task-orientation can seem intense and unfeeling to others
  14. They do what is practical and expedient
  15. Has a heart for the people on their team


  1. Self-reliance
  2. Struggle with focus
  3. Because they are goal-oriented they can become too focused on the task and fail to consider the feelings of those around them
  4. They may be applying pressure without moderation, causing unnecessary stress on the team members and family
  5. They may believe the end justifies the means


Mercy Strengths, Weaknesses and Blondspots:

  1. Loves beauty, sights, sounds, rhythm, fragrance, harmony of heaven and earth.
  2. Loves to soak in God’s presence
  3. Moves through life at a slower pace
  4. Needs time to emotionally transition from one thing or place to the next
  5. Takes God’s presence into everyday situations where the blessing of His presence can change the spiritual climate of a conversation or a room
  6. Desires intimacy in all forms. Craves heart connections in relationships. Desires hugs and physical contact. This can bring increased risk of wounding in relationships
  7. Sensitive to alignment and know when things are not in alignment
  8. Intuitively synchronizes people and things.
  9. Is a safe person to be around
  10. Has emotional radar
  11. Makes decisions based on their heart and their intuition
  12. Hears God but has difficulty explaining it to others
  13. Huge amount of friends but few very close friends
  14. Hates to confront.
  15. May appear indecisive because they don’t want to hurt somebody
  16. May have a deep strain of anger. Tends to take up an offense for a third party
  17. Can have a fierce stubborn streak when they know what they want, when they want it, and how they want it.


  1. May see all pain as bad. May flee from pain and keep others from discipline that is intended to build maturity
  2. Can be a people-pleaser and enabler
  3. May do whatever is necessary to make people around them happy with them. May be willing to live with holy and unholy without calling people to do what is right
  4. May attract abuse and exploitation because of their kindness, niceness, and willingness to allow injustice to happen
  5. Desire for intimacy and physical touch may lead to impurity



        For the sake of our children’s destiny – it is important to look beyond RAD, foster, adoption, and behavioral issues to their personality. They have one or a combination of these seven gifts written in ROM. 12:6-8. It is a matter of looking for the diamonds in their make up amongst the dirt that is showing (RAD symptoms). Please take some time and go through these three posts to find your child’s personality and while you are there – find yours too. It will help everyone in the family understand each other better.

See you here again next week. God bless your week. Until next time…

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