Summer Balance and Reactive Attachment Disorder:

Summer Balance and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD):

 

Intro:

         Hi all! This is Laurie and I can be reached at Laurie@getrealliving.com It’s my destiny to help parents with children who have behavioral, foster and adoption issues. Please take some time and read some of my posts. There are many topics I have written on.

My last post was about children who use the silent treatment to manipulate and control the home and those who live there. Parents need to see through the silent mind games and manipulations. Please check out my last post.

Today I am going to remind the parents who have RAD children about summer survival. I have written similar posts in the last two years. Today is just a little refresher.

 

Summer:

         If you have a RAD child I suggest that you plan regular times to get out of the house to have some alone time. Plan a weekend trip, salon days, girl’s night out, coffee with a friend, walks in the park, and dates with the spouse. Make these little escapes at regular intervals through the summer.

 

Reason for the Escapes:

RAD children love to take their anger out on the adopted mother. If you have read my posts you will understand adopted RAD children are angry at the birth mother and adoptive mothers are the closest person resembling her. So, we get the privilege of reaping the abusive behavior of the child they gave away. What joy is ours!!

Although we understand this, it still doesn’t make it any easier to have a child treat us with such contempt. This is the reason for consistent breaks and there is nothing wrong with respecting yourself enough to take them.

This also sends a message to our RAD children that we are not frozen by their intentional aggression. Showing them their behavior isn’t getting the results they desire goes a long way in communicating the ineffectiveness of their behavior. Continuing to take breaks shows them the importance of self-care and we all know all these kids need help in that area.

 

Husbands:

I challenge you to see that your wives get the regular rest and breaks they need to make it through the summer. Your adopted children will devise an all-out onslaught on your wife and you need to protect her. Summers for adoptive mothers are very long when a RAD adopted child is in the equation.

If your wife has a favorite friend or sister she likes to spend time with then make it happen for her. Send her away for a couple days. She will be so grateful. Then she will be able to face what is regularly coming at her from your RAD adopted children.

 

Conclusion:

         Adopted children mentally plan what they are going to do to the adoptive mother and then act on it. My two adopted daughters confessed to laying in their beds and thinking about all the awful things they were going to do to me all week. I remember feeling exhausted, abused and I dropped into bed every night.

So mothers, don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself. If you don’t – you’ll crash. Then who will take your place? NO ONE! Do the self-care so you can be in the race for the long run.

Well, that is all for today. I hope the adoptive fathers who are reading this post will engage to help your wife endure the summer. Your wife will think you are her hero.

If you would, please leave a comment in the comment box below. I would love to hear from you!          Come again next week for another post. Blessings to you! Until then…

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoptive Father Faithfulness When Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Children are at Work | Abba Father's Love

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