Framing Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Correctly:

Intro:

         Hi there! This is Laurie and I am the creator of this blog. I wright on many subjects having to do with behavioral, foster and adoption issues. Please check out some of my other posts. They are intended to be encouraging and hopefully healing.

My last three posts were about a ministry I have started called Abba Father’s Love. I told about the three parts of this ministry which are support groups, Life Coaching and this blog. Please take a moment to read about this ministry.

Today I am going to talk about foster, adoptive and behavioral problem children who don’t “frame” their thoughts or situations correctly. Thoughts or situations can be correctly or not correctly frame. What I mean by framing correctly or incorrectly: There is truth, partial truth or no truth in what is thought or seen. When situations or thoughts aren’t framed correctly – there’s a lie in the thought and it doesn’t produce a positive end (mis-framed thinking). Thoughts that are framed correct and are true produce behavior that follow that truth to a positive end (correctly framed thinking).

 

Our Families Train us How to Frame Our Lives:

         I find it fascinating to watch families with diversity of thoughts directly linked to mis-framed thinking (has lies). I think every family has a mis-framed thought or two. This mis-framed thinking can be transferred from generation to generation. It can go from one person to the next till there is a whole group of people who can’t see the truth when it is right in front of them.

This post is mainly about adoptive, RAD and foster children and the mis-famed thinking they have. Because they have lived through a great deal of rejection from their biological families – their thinking is all messed up. This causes them to mis-frame how everyone on the earth thinks of them or how they think of everyone else.

 

Divine Thinking:

         Father God is the master mind of the universe. He thinks correctly and has all the wisdom necessary to make accurate decisions. So, it is safe to say He can frame or think correctly about everything we encounter during our life time. It is His truth that heals the lie(s) and can switch us into correct thinking.

We may be at a place where we are in situations in our lives which are not framed correctly because of the way our families taught us to see, think and feel. The thing is – we see, think and feel this way because it is the only way we have been taught to experience life. Or, something tragic has happened and we agree with a lie that shifts our thinking so we don’t frame correctly. I bet if we could trace all situations back to where the thinking got off track we would find the lie that caused the shift. So, what do we do?

 

Breaking Agreement with the Lies:

         Incorrect framing is based on believing a lie which was taught to us by our families (generational thinking) or from a tragic situation. If your child has had repeated situations where they have not seen the situation correctly – then there is mis-framing. Breaking agreement with the lie that has caused the mis-framing and receiving the truth is the way to shift into correctly framing situations.

 

How Does This Apply to Adopted Children?

         Our adopted children have MANY situations mis-framed. This causes them to see situations incorrectly on so many levels. Below are some examples of their mis-framed thoughts:

  • They don’t see situations with friends correctly
  • Many adopted children don’t feel loved even when they are surrounded by love and love ones
  • They read situations as personal attacks or rejections
  • They see their birth parents as wonderful when many times they have given them up for immoral or selfish reasons
  • They don’t see the adoptive mother in the correct light on so many levels
  • They think they are invincible
  • They think they can make up their own morals and rules and expect the rest of society to follow them
  • They are narcissists and expect life to revolve around them
  • They live in self-pity and expect to be treated with kid gloves
  • They live in delusions of grandeur and when others don’t agree with their delusions of grandeur – they are offended

 

Conclusion:

         Framing life correctly sometimes requires some help. We all need help now and then. So, if you want my help you can reach me at Laurie@getrealliving.com I would love to help you.

Please leave a comment in the box below. I will be here again next week. Until then…

Need Foster and Adoption Help? Part Three

What We are About

Intro:

Hope all is well with you! Laurie here with another post to help parents who have children with behavioral, foster or adoption issues. Most of my posts have to do with these subjects. Please take a moment to read some of my other posts.

My last two posts were about the first two parts of the ministry I have started called Abba Father’s Love (AFL). I talked about parental support groups and Life Coaching. Please check them out.

Today I am going to talk about the third part of this ministry called Abba Father’s Love (AFL). There are two other women who minister with me in the AFL ministry. Their names are Wendy and Angie. We have a great time seeing the families heal and be encouraged through what we do.

 

Abba Father’s Love Blog:

The third part to this ministry is this blog. This site is  abbafatherandhislove.wordpress.com  and you have found it. Yeah!!

I have poured my heart out in this blog! When my husband and I adopted we discovered our girls have a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and we were dumbfounded. It knocked us on our butts and society didn’t even begin to understand. So, I started this blog to help families who are going through the same things my husband and I went through.

Our adoption agency said if our children were in foster families then they wouldn’t have RAD. They were so wrong!! Both of our girls were in foster families and they both have RAD. RAD can come in different levels ranging from mild to severe. One of our daughters has a pretty severe level of RAD. The other has a difficult level which is more intense then medium but not severe.

I felt so alone and misunderstood by society in general because society doesn’t understand parenting RAD children is nothing like parenting “normal” biological children. Most adopted children come with some level of emotional baggage. A large percentage come with a level of RAD.

It is my heart that the parents who find yourself alone and misunderstood by society have this blog to come to and heal, find community and find help with your children who have behavioral, adoption or foster problems. We want to be the support group, life coaching or blog you run to and find encouragement.

 

Introducing Wendy:

         Since this blog is the subject of this post – I want to take this opportunity to introduce a woman to you. Her name is Wendy (mentioned above). In the near future (of this blog), Wendy will be writing some posts FOR this blog.

Wendy will add so much to this blog because she comes with a wealth of knowledge concerning adoption, fostering and special needs. She has much to say on a large amount of subjects. She will start her posts in the near future.

Wendy has a servant’s heart and many adoptive mothers have solicited her advice. She has adopted several children and has fostered over 70 children in her home. She helps me run the AFL support groups and one of the support groups meets in her home.

 

Abba Father’s Love Ministry Recap:

Three parts to Abba Father’s love ministry:

  • Support Groups
  • Life Coaching
  • This Blog

 

Conclusion:

         If you are a parent of a child with foster, adoption or behavioral problems – please let us help you by joining our support groups, coming in for a life coaching session or reading this blog regularly. We are here and ready to help you along your journey with your children. Maybe you need some healing yourself. We can help you with that too.

Foster and Adopted children can cause some serious wounding to parent’s hearts. We at Abba Father’s Love have all been wounded and healed. We want to help you heal. You can reach me at Laurie@getrealliving.com We can set up a life coaching session for you with Wendy and me.

Please leave comment in the comment box. We would love to connect with you. Have a great week and come again next week. Until then…

Need Foster and Adoption Help? Part Two

What We are About

Intro:

         Hi there! Laurie here with a post to encourage the foster and adoptive families out there who have children with difficult behavioral, foster and adoption issues. There are many posts in this blog which are helpful in these areas. Please take a moment to check some out.

My last post was the first of this three part series of posts. I’m introducing a new ministry called Abba Father’s Love and am sharing about the three parts to this ministry. Last week I told about the support groups we have and how well they are going.

Today I am going to tell you about the second part to the ministry called Abba Father’s Love. It is the life coaching part and we offer several services. I will describe the services below.

 

Unleashed Healing Center:

Abba Father’s Love is a ministry of the Unleashed Healing Center. You can go to the website called Unleashedhealingcenter.com  We provide the same services in both Abba Father’s Love and the Unleashed Healing Center. The services and descriptions are listed below:

  • UnPlugged – A simple assessment of your spiritual life and how to stand in your true identity by unplugging from life’s demands.
  • UnDocked – Practical tools to help you walk out your true destiny and break free from old patterns of thinking.
  • Un Reeled – A prayerful journey towards renewal as we partner with you allowing the Holy Spirit to edit the traumatic moments from the movie reel of your life.
  • UnCovered – A deeper look at the hidden treasures and mysteries that God has for you in His Secret Place, unleashing you to dance in your freedom.
  • UnLocked – A practical look at the communication skills, personality traits and DNA gifts that impact marital, personal or business relationships.

 

Abba Father’s Love:

         We offer all these services but we specifically minister to the families with foster and adopted children. We also minister to families with children who have difficult behavioral problems. It is our desire at Abba Father’s Love to help families heal and become unified. We partner with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit to accomplish this.

We recognize satan has done a job on foster and adoptive families as a whole. Yet, we see God as bigger than all that has been thrown at these families. We have seen healing happen through the power of the Trinity.

We have discovered ways of praying for the bloodlines of children resulting in healing for their shattered hearts. This technique has been successful in several avenues of their lives. We are excited about the new tools of healing God continues to reveal to us!

Many times an adoptive or foster parent needs healing too. If the child has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – life for the family as a whole is very difficult. This can cause the hearts of the parents to break or be wounded. We can help you at Abba Father’s Love because that is what we do. We minister to the family as a whole.

 

Recap:

  • The first part of Abba Father’s Love ministry is our support groups for the parents. It is a place where the parents are free to express in a non-judgmental environment. We at Abba Father’s Love ministry (AFL) understand what you are going through. It is our heart that you join our support group or a support group for encouragement and comradery in your journey of parenting.
  • The second part of Abba Father’s Love ministry is life coaching and the services are listed above. We love to come along side of adoptive and foster families to help and minister to the families as a whole. We want to see families united and healed.

 

Conclusion:

I will be back next week to share about the third part of Abba Father’s Love ministry. I am excited to introduce this ministry and I encourage you to contact us. Maybe we can help you.

Please leave a comment so we can converse on the subjects at hand. Hope you have a great week! Until next week…

Foster and Adoption Help? – Part One

 

What we are about

Intro:

Hi everyone. I created this blog for foster and adoptive families. I feel families who have children with behavioral problems are in this mix also. I have written many posts on different subjects but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is at the top of the list to talk about in this blog. Please take a moment to read some of my other posts.

My last two posts were about adoptive mothers receiving the protection of their husbands when they are being abused by their adopted RAD children. I talked about the steps I took when my husband decided to be the protector in the home. Check out my last two posts for more information.

Today is the first part of this three part series of posts about the ministry we (Me, Wendy and Angie) have started. The ministry is called Abba Father’s Love and we help foster, and adoptive families plus families with children who have behavioral problems. We love helping families so read further and maybe we can help you.

 

Abba Father’s Love

We have three parts to the Abba Father’s Love Ministry:

  1. Parental Support Groups
  2. Life Coaching
  3. This Blog

(I will write about these three parts of the ministry and follow the order listed above)

 

Abba Father’s Love Support Groups

Support group one:

         I have started two local support groups. In a previous posts I encouraged my readers to go to or start a support group and then I told a little bit about my two groups. Now I will tell some more about them in reference to being part of the Abba Father’s Love ministry.

I have one support group in the morning so I can reach the mothers who don’t work or don’t work in the morning. We usually meet for two hours. Many times we don’t want to leave because of the connection we’ve developed.

We have the best time because we all have children with behavioral problems, adoption and foster problems, or RAD. We laugh and laugh because life at home is hard and we all get it.

The behavior of our children can be ridiculous. We (the mothers) have come to realize we can be vulnerable about our feelings and know everyone understands because we’ve all been there. The comradery is deep and we are there for each other.

 

 

Support Group Two:

This group meets in the evening so the mothers that work during the day can come. The fathers are invited too but they usually stay home so their wives can come. I would love for the fathers to come too!

This group is quite new but I can see the same closeness developing. Again, the mothers are being very real about how they feel and how things are going in their home. We laugh and we cry together because we all understand what the others are going through.

 

Overall thoughts on Support Groups:

The support groups are such wonderful additions to our lives. I am amazed by the wisdom coming out of each mother’s mouth. We all benefit from each person’s portion and everyone learns and heals.

During the meeting I also offer some type of teaching or encouragement. This helps the mother’s refuse their children’s abusiveness and see life at home in a new light. A change in perspective usually makes life’s difficulties seem much smaller than previously experienced.

 

 

Conclusion:

Support groups are one of the three parts we offer in Abba Father’s Love ministry. They help our mothers find a listening ear and a compassionate heart towards the difficulties they are facing.

Maybe in the future I will develop a Facebook Live support group for those who are out of the area. If you are interested in such support group please tell me in the comment box. I can look onto how to set up a Facebook Live group.

This is all for today. Be blessed and have a good week. Until next week…