Adoptive Mothers Receive Protection – Part One


Receiving the Protection Your Husband is Offering:


Hello everyone. Laurie here with some more encouragement for foster and adoptive families. Families who have children with behavioral problems can benefit from these posts too. I have several posts addressing many behavioral issues and adoption concerns. Please check them out.

In my last post I challenged adoptive fathers to be the protector in the home. If your wife is saying your adopted child is trying to separate the two of you, please listen to her. There is something called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and a large percentage of adopted children have it. One of the symptoms is triangulating adults against each other. These children want to separate the adoptive father and mother from each other. I challenged fathers to protect their wives in this and other areas. Please have a look at my last post.

Today’s post is for foster and adoptive mothers. It is about accepting your husband’s protection. I know if your adopted child has triangulated you and your husband away from each other it may take time to trust each other again. So, please read on for some helpful suggestions.


When Your Husband Starts to Protect You:        

I remember when my husband realized he needed to be a protector and especially my protector. I had to adjust how I was behaving. Out of necessity I had spent a very long time self-protecting and my radar was up to the actions and behaviors of my two adopted RAD children. They were regularly mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusing me when my husband wasn’t around.

Finally, my husband woke up because God woke him up. He took the position of being my protector and set our children straight on how they were to treat me. What a wonderful change!


Shifting When Our Husbands Shift:

         So wives, here are some suggestions when your husband does shift:

  1. He needs to know you are very grateful to him for taking the steps to protect you.
  2. Realize this is a very different way to live than the way you have been living. Your husband now has the position of protector and it affords you a better and safer life and home. You can now rest.
  3. Lay down the ways you used to protect yourself. Accept the protection your husband is offering. You are now in the place you wished you had but probably believed would never happen.
  4. Trust God and now your husband to do what they said they would do. Allow them to handle all the misbehavior your child is displaying towards you. They have big shoulders.
  5. Your RAD adopted children won’t like this shift in your house. They may act out as a display of their disapproval. Let your husband know what they are doing and then give him the problem to handle. Again, he has big shoulders. You just need to accept his protection.
  6. At first this will feel awkward if your husband hasn’t been your protector. Habits die hard but this new habit will reap benefits for a long time.
  7. Your husband will be in the position in the home that he needs to fulfill. This is worth the shifting out of protecting yourself to being protected. Everyone wins including the children – even if they don’t know it yet.



         So, that is all for today. If you would like to comment on this post just push the “Leave a Comment” button. If you would like my help I can be reached at You can set up an appointment with me because I am a life coach.

I will be here again next week with part two of this two part series of posts. Please come again. Until then…

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoptive Mothers Receive Protection – Part Two | Abba Father's Love
  2. Trackback: Foster and Adoption Help? – Part One | Abba Father's Love
  3. Trackback: Framing Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Correctly: | Abba Father's Love
  4. Trackback: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Burden Bearing: | Abba Father's Love
  5. Trackback: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Support Groups and the Power of Prayer: | Abba Father's Love
  6. Trackback: Summer Balance and Reactive Attachment Disorder: | Abba Father's Love
  7. Trackback: See Past Your Child’s RAD to their Gift – Part 1 | Abba Father's Love
  8. Trackback: Empathy or Sympathy – Which Causes a Fight? | Abba Father's Love

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