Adoption RAD and Five Steps of Encouragement – Part Two

Adoption RAD and Five Steps of Encouragement 


Hi all! This is Laurie and I developed this blog to support the adoptive families out there navigating through foster and adoption issues and RAD. Please look through my previous posts because they are all about adoption.

My last post was on the first step of encouragement in my acronym of FAITH. It was F for Failure. I shared on allowing our adoptive children to fail while they are still in our homes and have a safe place to land. Please check it out.

Today I am moving to the A in my acronym of FAITH. It is my desire to walk through these five steps of encouragement in order to boost all the adoptive parent out there who are discouraged by the difficulties of adoption life.


A for Afraid:

         I have yet to run into an adoptive parent of a RAD child who is not afraid about their child behavior and future. I also have yet to run into and adoptive RAD child who isn’t afraid. So, this post is about the fear on both sides of the family dynamic.

Being afraid, or in terror is never a good state of being but a part of this blog is about the fear in your adopted RAD child. Maybe you’re saying you don’t see fear in your child and see your child presenting quite the opposite which is the of fear of nothing. This can present a problem also.

Well, I’m here to talk about three types of fear an adopted RAD child has.


Three fears:

  1. Fear that you (the parents) will never return from a trip just like their birth mother didn’t return. My husband and I discovered this truth when we took a trip. Our adopted children treated our care giver terribly because they were afraid we wouldn’t come back. So, be encouraged – they really do want you in their lives even if it is on their terms of bad behavior and trying to control the situation.
  2. Even though they hold you at arm’s length and won’t bond – they have a fear that they will never be loved like they want to be loved. THEY make this nearly impossible because THEY have decided or vowed to sabotage your every effort to connect. Just like every other human on the earth – they need and want love so keep trying. Allow God to hold your heart in protection – but keep trying.
  3. The third fear is the one that attacked them when they discovered their birth mother left them. It is called terror. Terror is what altered them so they have closed their feelings off from everyone. The thing is – God can break through this. He invented adoption first so it is His desire to adopt everyone into His family.



Parental Fears:

God’s adoption is also offered to us as parents. We need to go to God with our own fears about our RAD child. He is the only one that can fix this difficult problem! Besides, fear is very hard on our bodies because of the stress involved. God wants to lead us into His peace that passes all comprehension.

We can’t change the lives of anyone through using fear. There is no situation that has been solved because we feared enough to change the destiny or direction of someone’s life or situation. Look to God for the answer to your fear.

God is the only one powerful enough to change someone’s heart. Switching your efforts into prayer instead of fear is the solution. So, let’s do that now. Please pray with me.



Lord I pray for the person who is reading this now. Please help them step out of the fear they have for their RAD adopted child and start depending on you and your power to affect their child for the changes that need to take place. Help them to surrender their child into your loving care and protection. Bring their child to a place of surrendering to you and your heart for adoption and destiny. Amen.



Enough for today. Please come back next week to read more steps of encouragement. Please leave a comment in the box below. Until then…

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