Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and DID Shattering – Part One

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and DID Shattering

Intro:

I can’t help but put a plug in for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) as the main reason for my blog. That and helping adoptive families understand what they are going through when their children have adoption issues. You see, my husband and I adopted two lovely daughters from Thailand and without our knowledge – they both came to us with RAD in full swing. I’ve written many posts on this subject. Please have a look.

My last five posts were on inner peace. Peace is very important in life but especially needed when living with someone who has RAD. RAD is very challenging and I hope my last five posts will encourage you to stay in peace. Please check them out.

Today I am going to talk about shattering of the soul. Trauma can shatter any person but my focus is specifically on trauma due to adoption issues shattering the soul in relation to RAD. There will be three posts on this topic.

 

My Definitions:

1)  Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) – When the birth mother gives her child up for adoption the child suddenly loses the only person they know for safety, comfort, and providing for their needs. Suddenly what was familiar is gone and it is at this point (even at days old) this child can make a vow in their heart that causes RAD. Usually the vow goes something like, “I will never let anyone close enough to me or my heart to hurt me like that ever again”, or “I will never attach to any one and I won’t let them attach to me.” The child then lives their life holding everyone at arm’s length – refusing to bond for healthy attachment. This is the cause of RAD. It is a decision made by the adopted child.

2)  Shattering/DID– Yes I am referring to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Because of trauma a person can “shatter” inside and have more than one personality. More crudely put – their personality separates. It is still their personality only “shattered” into parts. Originally the person was one personality but because of the intensity of an event(s) the person didn’t stay present (or facing the event) and allowed another “part” of them self to come forward to face the trauma.

3)  Integration – when the parts are put back together.

 

Adoption Trauma:

         I fully understand adoption is very traumatizing and I’m not surprised adopted children can have DID/shattering in addition to RAD when they make these vows. How is a baby supposed to know how to cope with the events happening to them? I might make the same vows if someone abandoned me. This brings me to what I am talking about today. How do we help our adopted children live a quality life and come into some form of healing and wholeness?

 

Starting with Honor:

We have to take some time to talk about honoring the shattered parts because they have helped the person survive and live life the best they knew how. Many times a shattered person allows a “defender part” to take the “forward or front” (the one presenting for the moment) position in a person because they are tuff and able to handle life more effectively.

This forward part may be strong but a person living in parts will not be as strong as a fully integrated (when all the parts are put back together again) person. They will experience life as though they are a puzzle and not as a whole person.

It is possible the person may not remember portions of their life if the forward part switches to other parts during their day or portions of their life. Many times the shattered person will not remember the younger years of their life or will not remember painful events because they “disappeared” or dissociate as means of survival.

 

So is Integration Possible?

Yes it is and I’ve helped some people integrate. I will talk some more on the subjects of DID and RAD in my next post. I pray you have a wonderful week and God will keep you safe. Blessings!!

 

Conclusion:

         Please leave a comment in the box below. Been nice sharing with you. Until then…

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoptio and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and DID Shattering – Part Two | Abba Father's Love
  2. Trackback: Adoption Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and DID Shattering – Part Three: Intro: Hi there. I am back again with a post on the effects of adoption Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). If you have an adopted child – chances are they may have some
  3. Trackback: Adoption Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and DID Shattering – Part Three: | Abba Father's Love
  4. Trackback: Adoption RAD and Five Steps of Encouragement – Part One | Abba Father's Love
  5. Trackback: Fear, Terror, DID, and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Part Two: | Abba Father's Love

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