Adoption Parents – Developing Inner Peace – Part Three:

Developing Inner Peace – Part Three:


As usual, my intention in writing this blog is to educate and encourage foster and adoptive families about the effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). RAD is a disorder many adoptive children have and is very difficult to navigate through. I have written many posts on the subject of RAD. Please check them out.

My last post was part two of this five part series on developing inner peace. I am using the acronym PEACE to communicate the process. I’ve included the opposite perspective to bring some depth of meaning. Please have a look at the last two posts because it will connect you to this post more effectively.

In today’s post I will continuing using the acronym of PEACE and will be talking about A for affection vs. affliction. It is my intention to encourage peace because a family with daily RAD issues needs all the peace it can find.


A for Affection vs. Affliction:

The definition for affection:

  1. A tender feeling toward another; fondness.
  2. A disposition to feel, do, or say; a propensity

The definition of affliction:

  1. A condition of pain, suffering, or distress. Synonym – trial.
  2. A cause of pain, suffering, or distress.
  3. Something responsible for physical or mental suffering, such as disease, grief, etc.


Poor God:

It seems a common belief to blame God for all the afflictions which come our way. God said, “In life there will be trouble.” But, there are many causes for troubles including:

  1. We are reaping what we are sowing
  2. Satan has come to kill, steal and destroy
  3. Generational cursing
  4. Consequences for our actions

The amazing thing is God can use and does “allow” troubles to draw us nearer to His affections. Many times we interpret this the exact opposite. We think God is inflicting.

My favorite definition (see above) for affection is number one. A tender feeling toward another; fondness. That is what God feels towards us and when we are receiving this type of affection from Him – we find PEACE. His daily loving affection will counteract the constant rejection and “denial of bonding” from our adopted RAD children. In other words – their afflictions of rejection towards us can be counteracted by God’s loving affection. Give God permission to pour His affections into you. (Remember, you didn’t create your RAD child’s inner conflict – so see it as their problem).

There are many scriptures in the Bible where God pours out His affection on our behalf. One of my personally favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 18. Please read it. In this chapter – God hears the call of David (Me and you if we choose to accept God’s affection) and God arises and rides the cherubim to come and rescue His beloved. He wants to do the same for us and our children.


Our Dear RAD Children:

Our RAD children have their own affliction(s) and need God’s affections also!!! I can’t imagine the level of rejection a RAD adopted child has had to endure to survive to this point. How much effort it has taken to hold everyone in their life at arm’s length. How their soul has – out of sheer grit – resisted bonding or resisted letting anyone bond to them!

I pray the wall around our children’s hearts will begin to be tiresome to them. That they would decide to allow others in – close enough to love them! I pray our children will want to deal with their pain – the pain attached to their birth mother giving them away. Help them see their self-protection isn’t working for them and the need for help. God heal them!!



Well, that is enough for today. Please leave a comment below. I’ll be here again next week – continuing this series on PEACE. Thanks for listening!

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoption Parents – Developing Inner Peace – Part Four: | Abba Father's Love

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