RAD and Three Human Lies – Part One

Three Human Lies


         This blog is for all the foster and adoptive families who have adopted children with RAD. RAD is a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder and is very difficult to navigate through. I have written numerous posts on the subject – please have a look.

My last two posts were on negative soul response mechanisms such as triggers. Please take a moment and read through them. It is good information for those who are wanting healing in this area.

Today I am going to start a three part series on three human lies. I wouldn’t be surprised if every human being has one to all three of these human lies. But, the focus of this series of posts will be RAD adopted children and their belief in these lies.


The Three Human Lies:

  1. I have to do everything right
  2. God has to make everything go right for me
  3. Everyone has to treat me right


I Have to Do Everything Right:

         Most of mankind believes these lies to some degree. The “I have to do everything right” lie reminds me of the post I wrote not too long ago about the difference between being an owner or a steward. In this previous post I showed scriptures about God owning everything and we’re here to tend to what God gave us to accomplish. I titled this post, “Who provides for, Owns or Stewards a RAD adopted child?” Please check it out. It is about taking all the stress out of parenting.

The first lie above -“I have to do everything right” – is part of the RAD adopted child’s dilemma. What causes RAD is a few vows the adoptee makes when their birth mom gives them up. I will only talk about three such vows in this post.


Three Adopted RAD Child’s Vows:

  1. They vow in their hearts to prevent anyone from hurting them like their birth mom did by giving them away. So, they keep everyone at arm’s length as protection from getting hurt again. Therefore the “I have to do everything right” lie happens in reference to their own self-protection.
  2. They also vow to meet their own needs because they are the only one they trust to look after their best interests. So, the “I have to do everything right” lie goes into effect. At a very young age they try to meet their own need – even when they are too young and enable to do so. This is somewhat understandable but sooner or later their soul will be exhausted from expended energy to do everything right so their needs get met.
  3. Many times the adoptee -and probably all of us at one time or another- have lived this lie in order to be liked or loved. This “lie mask” may be worn to cover up the unseen imperfections they feel aren’t acceptable to others as a means to be loved.



          I’m sure every human on the planet identifies with this human lie at some level. BUT, I’m also sure your intellect understands the truth of the matter. No one can ever do everything right all the time. To do everything right would be exhausting to the soul and would render a person equal with God.

I am a life coach and have worked with many people to get rid of lies to receive the truth.  So, if you find you would like help with the lie of having to do everything right all the time, please contact me. I would love to help you get freedom in this area of your life. You can get ahold of me at Laurie@getrealliving.com Tell them you want a session with me and the secretary help you.

Please leave a message below so we can talk. I would love to hear your question or perspective on this or other posts I’ve written. Until next time…

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: RAD and Three Human Lies – Part Two | Abba Father's Love
  2. Trackback: RAD and Three Human Lies – Part Three | Abba Father's Love
  3. Trackback: Adoption RAD and Summertime | Abba Father's Love

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