RAD, Adoption and Respite Care

 Respite Care:        


 Welcome back to my blog! I am deeply interested in helping any foster and adoptive family out there who have RAD adoptive children. RAD stands for Reactive Attachment Disorder and it effects a large percentage of adoptees to one degree or another. Up to 60% plus of American adoptions and 70% plus of foreign adoptions are effected. I’ve written other posts on RAD. Please check them out.

I just finished a series of posts about the “RAD Orphans Psalm.” It had three parts and was about Psalm 10 vs. the symptoms of RAD. Have a look. I think you will find it interesting.

Today I am going to talk about foster and adoptive parents getting the respite care (rest) they need. RAD is an exhausting disorder. You (the parents) need to permit yourself the gift of rest now and then.


Getting Help:

          Parents are the leaders and foundation of the home. I don’t think anyone would argue this point. But, if you are exhausted and disconnected from other members of the family (example: spouse) because of weariness – you are not doing anyone a favor by not taking a break.

There are organizations that provide help if your child is tested and deemed eligible for respite services. These organization deal with special needs and will do an assessment to see if your child falls into a number of spectrums such as bipolar, autism, fetal alcoholism, or a combination of RAD and a special needs diagnosis. Start with a county computer search under respite care.

If this doesn’t work for you, maybe you could find a trusted church member, family member or friend that could give you and your spouse a break. They would need to be a person that understands the ins and outs of RAD and not be blindsided by the manipulations a RAD adoptive child displays.



          What a beautiful activity! According to Dr. Caroline Leaf – author of the book, “Who Turned Off My Brain” – the leading symptom of 90% of all diseases is stress. If you understand RAD at all – you understand that there is a huge amount of stress attached to living with a person who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. The challenges are continual and intense.

So, find a place or event for you and your spouse to go do together and make it happen. My husband and I would go to a little Inn not too far from home and walk the trails, take a nap and watch a movie . We would talk of future plans and dreams. We tried our best not bring up anything about home. It was our way of reconnecting and resting.


Dreaming Together:

 My husband and I dream together because it helps us shift our perspective about life to a larger vantage point than the one we were living in at the moment. RAD can be all consuming at times and dreaming about the future was about our relationship only. Our children will eventually move on into their lives –  which is healthy and supposed to happen. This was very therapeutic for me because I could grasp ahold of the perspectives of:

  1. This too will pass
  2. We are not stuck
  3. My husband and I have a future
  4. My children have a future



Give you and your spouse a break. You both deserve to rest, and reconnection. Then dream together, have fun and sleep. It  will rejuvenate your body, your marriage and the next time you get away you can build from where you left off.

Find a dependable respite care giver who understands your situation. They will understand and will probably feel needed and productive. Everyone needs to feel their dreams are being fulfilled and a respite care giver probably has this very dream of their own.

Please leave a message in the box below. I would live to converse with you. See you next week…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Adoption, RAD and Soul Response Mechanisms – Part One: | Abba Father's Love

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