Can You Make the Christmas Season be a Win-Win for You and Your RAD Child? – Part Two:

You Can! :

Intro:

Hi all. This blog is a support blog for all the parents that have  RAD foster and adopted children living with you. You’re not alone! Navigating through the ups and downs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) is difficult to begin with and extremely challenging if you’re dealing with the severe symptoms of RAD. I have written many posts on the subject of RAD. Please have a look.

My last post was about a couple of Christmas Season tips to help your RAD child handle the holidays less independently and more engaged with the family. Today I’m going to talk about one more tip for the Christmas Season. Of course connection and communication are the main goasl.

 

Fantasy World:

        Like I said in the last post – a RAD adopted child spends an exorbinate amount of time in a fantasy world dreaming about how life would have been with their birth families. These fantasies eventually turn to a delusional bent if they spend too much time engaged in this fantasy world. This the reason for the tips I’m sharing.

 

A RAD Child Needs to be Busy:

 I know it is nice to have the holidays to slow down, recuperate and rest – but for big Holidays – it poses a problem for your RAD child. They are grieving a life they have always wanted to “make” manifest in the natural but don’t have the power to do so. They want their birth families. This causes them to sabotage the holiday season for you and yours and that is not alright.

 

Tip Three:

 Tips one and two are in my last post. Please check it out. Tip three is to keep your RAD child busy. I can suggest a few things here but you will have the best ideas because you know your child and what they find interesting and fun to do. Sometimes giving them strenuous things to accomplish will not only keep them busy but wear them out. So, when they are in their rooms – it is to sleep not to fantasize or think of ways to sabotage your day or season. There is nothing wrong with planning some activities that don’t include you – therefore your husband can be in charge of requiring your RAD child to do an activity. If it is strenuous work – it is best that your husband iniciates so your RAD child doesn’t punish you emotionally or mentally for their extra activities.

In general, this principal of wearing your RAD child out with activity should be applied. It applies to other school breaks and summertime too. It will keep them from being “reactive” especially to the adoptive mother because they don’t have time to be so absorbed in their fantasy life – dreaming of what will never happen.

 

My Suggestions for Activities:

  1. My girls liked making Gingerbread houses. Graham Cracker Gingerbread houses are fun because they can make a little town if they wish. This keeps them busy for quite a while.
  2. Decorating sugar cookies
  3. Shoveling snow (If you get snow in your area)
  4. Snow ball fights
  5. Sled riding
  6. Making Christmas ornaments
  7. Setting the table, and talking the trash out, etc.
  8. Taking cookies to the neighbors
  9. Building snow forts
  10. Help with the house cleaning
  11. Cleaning out their closet
  12. Walking your dog
  13. Folding their clothes and putting them away
  14. Washing the car

 

Conclusion:

        The point is to wear them out – not wear you out. If all their energy is being expelled – they are not contriving ways to punishing or abusing you emotionally or mentally. Ultimately, they won’t get the time or have the energy to think or do things to ruin you or family’s Christmas Season. Then your holiday is more enjoyable and you can rest and relax and enjoy the season for what is supposed to be – Jesus’ birth, Christmas and family. YEAH!!

 

If you have a comment please leave it in the comment box below. I would love to converse with you on any subject pertaining to this blog. I hope this post helps your Christmas Season run soother! Have a Wonderful Christmas and God bless you and yours! Until next time…

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