Final Symptoms of RAD

Final Symptoms

Today’s post will be on the final symptoms of RAD. There are seven symptoms:

 

  • Inappropriate and clingy behavior
  • Destructive behavior to self, to others, and to material things (accident prone)
  • Abnormal eating patterns
  • Lags in learning
  • Abnormal speech patterns
  • Poor peer relationships
  • Lack of cause-and-effect thinking

 

Inappropriate and clingy behavior – My girls displayed this symptom in different ways.

 

  1. First adopted daughter– She didn’t display this symptom to me at all because her goal with me was a passive approach. She avoided me for the sake of ostracizing me out of her life. Her father, on the other hand, was a different story. She put on this “woe is me” kind of ‘I’m so weak that I need to be protected” façade. She treated him like a boyfriend that she could emotionally manipulate. It was more than having her father “wrapped around her little finger” or the “apple of his eye” type of father-daughter relationship. It was very intentional. My husband came to see right through her tricks.

 

 

  1. Second adopted daughter – Wanted me out of the house for sure. But she took this symptom in a new direction. She was able to be close to me  with the intending of making my day miserable.

 On top of acting passive aggressively all day, she found out that her birth mom was mentally handicapped. She wanted to be just like her birth mom, so she would act like a baby and play dumb.

  This evolved into being clingy with aggression. She would daily walk beside me and put her hand on my shoulder and press down. She would grab hold of my purse strap and pull down to the point of pulling me over or off balance. She had to constantly touch or poke me. I would ask her to stop but the very next day she would be right back at it with pleasure.

 

Destructive behavior to self, to others, and to material things (accident prone) – Both girls approached this symptom differently too.

 

  1. First daughter– In my last post I talked about the men she met online. The interesting thing here is that she followed in her birth mother’s shoes by not picking kind or good men. This was very self-destructive and self-demeaning. Probably with self-hatred added to the mix too.

 

  1. Second daughter – She acted out in all three categories. She was destructive to herself, others and to my things. She liked to pinch herself until she swelled up.

 

She showed destructive behavior towards others when she would bully everyone on the playground except for one girl. This girl played with our daughter because she was easily controlled and was ultra-sensitive towards everyone including our daughter.

 She also was destructive with everyone’s material things and all of her own things were ruined. She seemed to not care about material things and any effort to teach her differently was fruitless.

 

Abnormal eating patterns – Both girls had odd eating issues. They both needed to know we had all the food in the world that they could ever eat. This was probably do to the poor living conditions of the foster families they lived with. Both foster family homes were extremely impoverished.

 

 Lags in learning – 

  1. Our first adopted daughter didn’t have any lags in learning. She was a good but average student.

 

     2.  Our second adopted daughter had learning disorders due to possible fetal alcohol syndrome. This is the result of the birth mom drinking while she is pregnant, causing what I call “Swiss-cheese” brain. The alcohol  damages parts of the brain so they don’t work properly. Homework was difficult because one day she seemed to have a homework concept, then the next day she would act like she didn’t have a clue about the very same concept. She did admit she was purposely playing dumb so she would be like her birth mom. With spelling she had a photographic memory.

 

Abnormal speech patterns Mumbling was the most predominate abnormal speech pattern displayed by both of our adoptive daughters. Our first daughter did a great deal of passive behavior when it came to communications. Her answer for everything was “I don’t know” or “I don’t care.” She would do whatever it took to keep communications down to one-word answers. Towards the end of the time she was with us, she would spend days of not saying a single word to anyone in the house. Silent punishment was her passive aggressive retaliation.

 

Poor peer relationships – In previous posts I describe the girl’s relationships with friends. One daughter was surface in her relationships. The other was intrusive and at times aggressive and bullying. 

 

Lack of cause-and-effect thinking – Both girls were unable to think situations all the way out—at least not rationally. I feel this is due to the great amount of time in fantasy mode. (Please refer to my post on fantasy) It seems to break the connection to real life cause-and-effect thinking. 

Conclusion

 I’m sure I will touch on this “cause-and-effect thinking” in another post. Please comment on this if you relate or have questions. I would love to connect with you!! Till next time…

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

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