RAD Topics

More Symptoms of RAD

I’m going to continue talking about the list of symptoms found in Dr. Keck’s book (Please refer to my last post). My two adopted girls demonstrated all of the symptoms in the book except the preoccupation with fire symptom.

The symptoms I’m discussing today are:

  • Indiscriminate affection towards strangers
  • Little eye contact with parents, on normal terms
  • Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter
  • No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive)

Indiscriminate affection towards strangers – I have two separate stories for each of my adopted daughters that illustrate how we experienced the reality of this symptom.

1.   Second adopted daughter – I had to keep an eye on her all the time, whether in public or at home, because she was always too friendly to everyone. Even at 10 to 12- years – old she would intruded in everyone’s personal space regularly. She liked to touch everyone, even though she could see that the other person was distancing themselves. She would say that she knew better but she just decided she had a RIGHT to do what she wanted. It got her in trouble at school several times, especially with the touching.

When she was pre-teen, she paid very special attention to one particular married man at our church. She would stand in his way when he was trying to get by. This man was very appropriate with her and tried to be polite but it got to a point that I had to tell her she wasn’t to approach him anymore. Then, when she was around sixteen, she began to be obsessed with a married police officer in the town…

2.   First adopted daughter – When she was twelve years old she started to lie to us about who she was talking to on the computer. I was pretty electronically challenged at the time, so I didn’t think much about it at first. Then I started to get strange pop up advertisements when I was on the computer.

Then she was on the computer more and more with the computer going bling, bling, and bling with instant messages. We were so naive at that time!!! Not too long after this, our phone rang and she answered it up stairs. I just had a gut feeling that I should pick up the phone and I’m glad I did. There was a man on the other end of the line!

We discovered she was deep into it all on the computer and was conversing with many guys. She was planning to run away with the man she was talking with on the phone. She said she loved him and wanted to be with him or die.

Now, all this computer stuff is common now, but back then it wasn’t.  She had no discretion or personal control. The psychologist was very concerned as were her dad and I.

We also discovered she gave out her personal information and my other daughter’s names, our home address, the schools they went to, their pictures, and what activities they were involved with. We began to have strange cars passing our house at all hours. I was concerned how safe we were in our house.

Needless to say, we got an unlisted number, and this began our enlisting professional help. We did need to let the school know what happened so my girls didn’t run into any of the predators during or after school. We also got the police involved and discovered that the “man on the other end of the phone line” was being watched by the police for several things. We had to tell some of the parents of our daughter’s friends because she introduced them to the predator on line. NOT a happy event!

Little eye contact with parents, on normal terms – Both of our adopted daughters wouldn’t make eye contact with my husband or me unless they were lying. It became humorous at times because it gave then away almost every time. It hurt my heart to watch them play games that weren’t beneficial for them or those around them. What was the point anyway? The only reasoning I found was it kept us at a distance. They thought they didn’t need anyone and were “winning” at not letting anyone close. Wow, what a sad way to live!

Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter and No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive – I put these two symptoms together because a RAD child is so good at combining the two. Both of our girls would incessantly chatter. RAD kids want to push any buttons they can all day long. They seem to get great pleasure in causing chaos, probably because they have such chaos inside. It makes them feel in control in some way. Also, remember they want to make the adoptive mother leave the home for good. Their intention is to make things as uncomfortable as possible.

Both girls did love to ask many questions and then not wait long enough to listen for the answers. We took them to a doctor for the ADD and ADHD. Later, when we got them help for the RAD symptoms, we discovered that some of the ADD/ADHD symptoms were RAD symptoms intentionally causing chaos, push buttons and keep everyone at a distance.

Conclusion

I’m curious if anyone out there has experienced anything like what my husband and I have with RAD? If so please express what you are thinking. I would love to hear from you!!

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

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